My Acne and Faith Journey Part 5: Resurrection and Radiance
Life Starts Now
If God is outside time, then God is not bound by death.
After being hung on the cross for six hours, Jesus’ body was prepared by Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus for burial.
They laid Him in a new tomb cut close to the crucifixion site. A boulder was rolled to its entrance.
The next day the religious leaders told Pilate that the disciples might steal Jesus’ body because He claimed to rise after three days (Matt. 27:62-63).
A Roman seal was placed on the boulder, and soldiers guarded the tomb that no one might defy Roman authority by moving the stone.
But an angel of the Lord rolled it away. At the sight of this otherworldly creature, the soldiers fell like dead men (Matt. 28:2-4).
The soldiers reported the incident to the chief priests. They bribed them and told them to spread a false story: The disciples stole His body while they were asleep.
They even assured the soldiers that if this should reach the governor, they would protect them from any consequences, one of which was death sentence (Matt. 28:11-15).
At dawn, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and found it open. She hurried to Peter and John, telling them that Jesus’ body was missing.
The two disciples entered the tomb and found only the linen cloths that had wrapped Jesus’ body.
They went back home, not understanding that Jesus was meant to rise again (John 20:1-10).
Mary stayed outside the tomb, grieving. Then, Jesus talked to her, but she did not recognize Him.
She only recognized Him when Jesus called her name.
How He said her name gave the hint that the man was her Rabboni, her master and her teacher.
And Jesus defied another cultural norm by choosing a woman, whose testimony was not valid in court, to be the first witness of His resurrection.
Jesus then showed Himself to His disciples in hiding. The doors were locked but He stood in their midst. Thomas wasn’t around when it happened.
He wouldn’t believe until he himself touched and felt Jesus’ crucifixion marks. After eight days, Jesus showed up and invited Thomas to examine Him.
Thomas’ doubt disappeared, but at the same time adored Jesus for He is, “My Lord and my God” (John 20:28).
Jesus responded, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29).
It was as if Jesus was inviting me to make up my mind about the resurrection.
Could I consider myself as one of those who have not seen and yet have believed?
As the crucifixion convinced me it’s not a man-made tale, so does the resurrection.
With all the narrative embellishments, gods, goddesses, demigods, and great heroes died and came back to life just for mere displays of power and vanity.
There is no exact parallel of a Savior who willingly laid down His life to secure eternal life for those who will put their faith in Him.
Even throughout history, some political tyrants even claimed divinity. But Jesus, who is the true God, poured out Himself like a servant.
Although I was familiar with the resurrection because of Easter Sunday, I never really understood this old creed:
On the third day, He rose again from the dead…. I believe in…the resurrection of the body and life everlasting…
I never really thought I needed eternal life because I was so preoccupied with the things of the present.
But this eternal life doesn’t start after death; eternal life starts from knowing the only true God and Jesus Christ whom God sent (John 17:3).
Jesus, you said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
Jesus, I did not see you with my own eyes, and yet I believe. I want to know you more.
The Cross Took My Cares Away
It was an early summer morning in 2012 when I started reading the Epistles to Romans.
A particular verse stood out and left me wonderstruck.
But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
This verse hammered down everything I studied in the Gospel of John—I don’t need to become “worthy” or “perfect” first for God to love me.
Since I thought receiving external validation was like receiving love, I worked hard for it.
I viewed God the same way as people. I’m only loved if I do things right.
I had never seen love as something freely given. I was only loved if I met the conditions.
That’s why I was so broken and hopeless when my “smart and attractive girl persona” was so hard to attain because of my acne.
I wouldn’t be loved if I were less than that ideal persona—I couldn’t even love myself as I am.
My sin nature distorted my perception of love.
But the cross took care of what I truly dreaded—if I would ever be loved if I was just myself, no accomplishments, no embellishments.
There was no book on earth and no knowledge from men that did address this fear because the world’s message has always been about projecting a certain identity to feel good about oneself and attract others’ approval.
God desired me—not my mask.
Before, I thought I had to intentionally leave out details in my prayers, justifying and excusing myself to appear less guilty and more acceptable to God.
But God didn’t want me to justify and excuse myself before Him. What God required from me is that I repent and believe the gospel (Mark 1:15).
I only have two options where my sins are going to be dealt with: either I will be punished in hell to meet God’s demand of justice, or I will be forgiven and redeemed at the foot of the cross, where Jesus bore God’s wrath and condemnation on my behalf.
Jesus made it clear that hell was not prepared for me. Hell was prepared for the devil and his angels (Matt. 25:41).
God doesn’t desire to send me to hell. God wants to save me.
It is Satan who is eager to drag me there…because hell is his ultimate destiny. I would only make it easier for Satan if I continuously rebel against God like what he and the fallen angels did.
So I repented and believed the gospel. I consider it to be the most intelligent decision I made in my life.
It was the most logical response. I was just so convinced that Jesus is my Savior. I was so moved by His love that I didn’t want to remain in my sins anymore.
Yet, even the faith I needed to repent and believe the gospel was provided by God (Eph. 2:8).
Indeed, God demonstrates His love that even before I was born, Jesus prayed for me and died for me. And while I was in my sin, God was actively working in my life to bring me to repentance.
As someone who has acne, I saw Jesus in a different light. My acne gave me physical and emotional pain, but it is nothing compared to what Jesus went through for me.
His wounds on the cross allowed me to take my focus away from my physical imperfection and just admire Him at the cross, wounded and disfigured for my salvation.
God did not give me acne, but He used my body that was failing me to point me to redemption and eternal life that is in Jesus.
God did all these things to reconcile me to Himself. He is my Father, and I am His child (John 1:12). I am no longer a child of wrath, under God’s judgment (Eph. 2:3).
Through Jesus, I have become holy in God’s eyes (Heb. 10:10). So, my life on earth means it has been set apart for God and His will (Rom. 12:1).
And I don’t have to pursue and grow in holiness by my own willpower—He has given me His Holy Spirit to be my Teacher and Advocate (John 14:26).
Not only that, God declares me beautiful according to His standard and concept of beauty: a heart cleansed from the stain of sins through the blood of Jesus.
God forgave me and declared me blameless.
All my sins—past, present, and future—were blotted out from the record because Jesus’ blood wiped them all clean.
My future destiny has been forever changed. This eternal life overflows right now and continues forevermore in new heaven and new earth (John 4:14, John 17:3, Rev. 21).
When heaven and earth are restored and renewed, God will wipe away the tears of His people, and He will give them bodies that are forever imperishable, glorious, and powerful (Rev. 21:4; 1 Cor. 15:42-44).
And I long for that fulfillment because my youngest brother Macky, whose life was cut short here on first earth, will live forever with his new body1.
He Pursued Me
God answered my prayer. I was no longer a hidden seed. I became a seed that had seen light, ready to grow and bear fruit.
The changes in my life weren’t externally obvious. But the inward changes God caused were very crucial for bearing fruit in keeping with repentance (Luke 3:8).
I began to have more interest in knowing God especially since I learned that the Greek word for the word “know” has a very rich meaning.
To know God is not equivalent to being aware of who’s the president in office. To know God is to experience Him personally and intimately.
I began to feel more of the weight of my conscience. I became more aware that my sins don’t just hurt people; they ultimately offend my Father in heaven.
I began to understand God’s commandments are not mere restrictions, but they are guardrails to give me the maximum pleasure in all the things He allows me to experience.
I began to desire to serve God. I knew my service wouldn’t be as sacrificial and costly as Brother Yun and the other persecuted believers in China.
But I was beyond thrilled to be able to participate in declaring the gospel.
These things are all the work of the Holy Spirit in me.
Jesus sent me the Helper, who is the Holy Spirit so that the power to live a godly life comes from God and not from my willpower (John 14:15-18).
What a joy it was to finally understand that my good works don’t earn me salvation, but good works are the result of my salvation.
At 19 years told, I came to Christ. It took me four years before I finally responded to God’s call of salvation.
In those four years, He sent people in my life to share His Word, invite me to church, and share Christian literature and music.
However, I also encountered those who teach false doctrines like Jesus being fully human but not fully God, which meant the denial of the Trinity (or the Godhead) and the distortion of the gospel.
But God made sure only His seeds will grow in my heart.
God was so faithful, so kind to call me to repentance. I wanted to give up, even begged God to just take away my life.
But He had a different plan in mind.
God turned my dark verses into radiant verses.
The Radiant Verses
Have me
bathed in Your light
to remove the sight of flaws
I have for Your light is never overcome
by the darkness that entrapped me
before and Your face shines
upon me forever
and ever
[1] For a more in-depth explanation on why I believe my brother, Macky, is saved, please read these resources: The Salvation of Babies Who Die, Part 1 and The Salvation of Babies Who Die, Part 2.
